1 00:00:03,183 --> 00:00:05,378 ( fighting and screaming on video game ) 2 00:00:05,452 --> 00:00:07,443 Pass the chips, please. 3 00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,920 Here you go. 4 00:00:08,989 --> 00:00:10,183 Thank you. 5 00:00:10,257 --> 00:00:12,020 You're welcome. 6 00:00:12,092 --> 00:00:13,992 Wow, that was a really great move. 7 00:00:14,061 --> 00:00:15,494 My head just went flying. 8 00:00:15,562 --> 00:00:16,494 Thank you. 9 00:00:16,563 --> 00:00:17,689 You're welcome. 10 00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:19,892 I told you boys these games are too violent. 11 00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:21,662 ( screaming on game ) 12 00:00:21,735 --> 00:00:23,635 Here, watch something wholesome. 13 00:00:23,704 --> 00:00:27,765 Man: ? The sun is a mass of incandescent gas ? 14 00:00:27,841 --> 00:00:30,776 ? A gigantic nuclear furnace ? 15 00:00:30,844 --> 00:00:33,244 ? Where hydrogen is built... ? 16 00:00:33,314 --> 00:00:34,781 Give me more chips! 17 00:00:34,848 --> 00:00:35,780 Get your own, doofus! 18 00:00:35,849 --> 00:00:37,111 Shut up! I'm watching! 19 00:00:37,184 --> 00:00:38,913 You shut up! I want more chips! 20 00:00:38,986 --> 00:00:39,748 Here! 21 00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:41,720 ( screaming ) 22 00:00:41,789 --> 00:00:43,723 ( pottery breaking ) 23 00:00:45,426 --> 00:00:48,293 ? Yes, no, maybe ? 24 00:00:48,362 --> 00:00:50,830 ? I don't know ? 25 00:00:50,898 --> 00:00:54,163 ? Can you repeat the question? ? 26 00:00:54,234 --> 00:00:56,429 ? You're not the boss of me now ? 27 00:00:56,503 --> 00:00:58,835 ? You're not the boss of me now ? 28 00:00:58,906 --> 00:01:01,204 ? You're not the boss of me now ? 29 00:01:01,275 --> 00:01:03,266 ? And you're not so big ? 30 00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:05,778 ? You're not the boss of me now ? 31 00:01:05,846 --> 00:01:07,780 ? You're not the boss of me now ? 32 00:01:07,848 --> 00:01:10,282 ? You're not the boss of me now ? 33 00:01:10,351 --> 00:01:13,081 ? And you're not so big ? 34 00:01:13,153 --> 00:01:17,351 ? Life is unfair. ?? 35 00:01:21,061 --> 00:01:22,790 Lois: $90 for a toy? 36 00:01:22,863 --> 00:01:25,024 It's not a toy. It's a robotics kit. 37 00:01:25,099 --> 00:01:27,294 You build a little mechanical rover. 38 00:01:27,368 --> 00:01:29,563 It teaches you about electronics and engineering. 39 00:01:29,636 --> 00:01:31,331 Does it teach you to pick up your socks? 40 00:01:31,405 --> 00:01:32,394 That I'm interested in. 41 00:01:32,473 --> 00:01:33,838 Hal: Besides, son 42 00:01:33,907 --> 00:01:35,306 robots are evil. 43 00:01:35,376 --> 00:01:36,240 What?! 44 00:01:36,310 --> 00:01:37,368 Westworld, Terminator 45 00:01:37,444 --> 00:01:39,275 the creepy maid from TheJetsons... 46 00:01:39,346 --> 00:01:41,337 How much scientific proof do you need? 47 00:01:41,415 --> 00:01:42,177 Mom! 48 00:01:42,249 --> 00:01:43,807 Malcolm, no! 49 00:01:43,884 --> 00:01:45,146 If you want this thing so badly 50 00:01:45,219 --> 00:01:46,481 pay for it with your own money. 51 00:01:46,553 --> 00:01:48,077 You're starting to baby-sit next week. 52 00:01:48,155 --> 00:01:49,122 Just save up. 53 00:01:49,189 --> 00:01:50,349 What will they pay me? 54 00:01:50,424 --> 00:01:51,891 I'll tell you what they'll pay you. 55 00:01:51,959 --> 00:01:53,756 What all jobs pay-- less than you're worth 56 00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:56,057 and just enough to keep you crawling back for more. 57 00:01:56,130 --> 00:01:57,563 Now go on. It's bedtime. 58 00:01:57,631 --> 00:02:01,226 That's the way discussions go down in this family. 59 00:02:01,301 --> 00:02:02,928 I tell them my needs and they say no. 60 00:02:03,003 --> 00:02:04,903 Then Dad reveals another cartoon character 61 00:02:04,972 --> 00:02:06,906 he's afraid of. 62 00:02:09,376 --> 00:02:12,209 Hey, how much time do you think we have? 63 00:02:12,279 --> 00:02:13,610 Not long enough for that look. 64 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,614 ( laughing ) 65 00:02:15,682 --> 00:02:17,377 You butt-wipe, that's my toothbrush. 66 00:02:17,451 --> 00:02:18,850 So use mine. 67 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:20,648 You can't just take someone's toothbrush. 68 00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:21,813 Give me that. 69 00:02:21,889 --> 00:02:23,823 Fine. 70 00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:26,416 Oops. 71 00:02:32,866 --> 00:02:33,890 Hal... 72 00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:35,867 that is the third bug I've seen today. 73 00:02:35,936 --> 00:02:37,836 You have got to call the exterminator! 74 00:02:37,905 --> 00:02:40,897 What, and miss out on watching you hunt? 75 00:02:40,974 --> 00:02:43,966 You're like a sexy, bug-killing panther. 76 00:02:44,044 --> 00:02:45,636 ( laughing ) 77 00:02:45,712 --> 00:02:48,442 Reese: Malcolm, stop! 78 00:02:48,515 --> 00:02:50,642 ( boys yelling ) 79 00:02:50,717 --> 00:02:52,651 Lois: That's it! 80 00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:54,277 Bedtime was 20 minutes ago. 81 00:02:54,354 --> 00:02:55,616 Go to bed! 82 00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:56,621 Go to bed! 83 00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:57,816 ( grunting ) 84 00:02:58,892 --> 00:03:00,587 Bed! 85 00:03:02,963 --> 00:03:05,022 Hal, bring the spray! 86 00:03:06,166 --> 00:03:07,531 I haven't rinsed yet. 87 00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,967 Only boys who behave themselves get to rinse. 88 00:03:10,037 --> 00:03:12,198 Honestly, every night we go through this! 89 00:03:12,272 --> 00:03:14,069 Mom, can I have a story? 90 00:03:14,141 --> 00:03:15,699 Once upon a time there was a little boy 91 00:03:15,776 --> 00:03:16,970 who made his mother so crazy 92 00:03:17,044 --> 00:03:18,875 she decided to sell him to the circus. 93 00:03:18,946 --> 00:03:20,345 An evil circus? 94 00:03:20,414 --> 00:03:21,745 No, a nice one with monkeys. 95 00:03:21,815 --> 00:03:22,782 Thank you. 96 00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:24,112 Hal: Ah, wait, wait, wait, wait. 97 00:03:24,184 --> 00:03:26,550 I think I see where they're coming from. 98 00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:28,588 Ah, you cannot hide. 99 00:03:29,656 --> 00:03:31,283 Aw... 100 00:03:31,358 --> 00:03:32,848 Aw! 101 00:03:34,328 --> 00:03:37,161 ( tiny munching sounds ) 102 00:03:47,474 --> 00:03:48,702 Okay, come on, boys. 103 00:03:48,775 --> 00:03:51,243 We're all camping out in the den tonight. 104 00:03:51,311 --> 00:03:52,369 Here we go. 105 00:03:52,446 --> 00:03:54,539 Hey, Francis, aren't you going to open up 106 00:03:54,615 --> 00:03:55,843 your mom's care package? 107 00:03:55,916 --> 00:03:57,008 Give me a minute. 108 00:03:57,084 --> 00:03:58,244 I'm still savoring this. 109 00:03:58,318 --> 00:04:00,809 I swiped Commandant Spangler's master key. 110 00:04:00,888 --> 00:04:03,584 It opens every door in the academy, Stanley. 111 00:04:03,657 --> 00:04:05,648 Every door. 112 00:04:05,726 --> 00:04:06,920 I think it's cookies. 113 00:04:06,994 --> 00:04:08,222 Who cares? 114 00:04:08,295 --> 00:04:09,284 I'm about to expose 115 00:04:09,363 --> 00:04:11,194 every secret sin this place conceals 116 00:04:11,265 --> 00:04:12,664 to the harsh light of day. 117 00:04:12,733 --> 00:04:14,633 So, can I open it? 118 00:04:14,701 --> 00:04:16,032 Yeah. 119 00:04:19,039 --> 00:04:21,064 What'd my mom send me? 120 00:04:22,409 --> 00:04:24,673 Bug-infested cookies. 121 00:04:24,745 --> 00:04:27,646 As usual, a mixed message. 122 00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:34,176 And this is the living room. 123 00:04:34,254 --> 00:04:38,418 This is the biggest, nicest house I've ever seen! 124 00:04:38,492 --> 00:04:41,256 Wow! 125 00:04:41,328 --> 00:04:44,320 Pomocanthus imperator. 126 00:04:44,398 --> 00:04:45,660 We call him Barney. 127 00:04:45,732 --> 00:04:46,790 Malcolm? 128 00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:48,095 We saved you some dinner. 129 00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:50,102 Dinner? Me? Saved? 130 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,638 Dinner? 131 00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:54,298 We weren't sure which you liked better 132 00:04:54,374 --> 00:04:56,467 turkey or roast beef, so we fixed you a platter. 133 00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:58,033 Platter?! 134 00:04:58,111 --> 00:04:59,942 Okay, kids, what time is it? 135 00:05:00,013 --> 00:05:02,481 - Bedtime! - Bedtime! 136 00:05:02,549 --> 00:05:03,481 Boy: I'll race you! 137 00:05:03,550 --> 00:05:04,482 They're going to bed? 138 00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:05,643 So you're just paying me 139 00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:07,209 to hang out here for three hours? 140 00:05:07,287 --> 00:05:08,686 Well, maybe three and a half. 141 00:05:08,755 --> 00:05:10,416 We'll round up to four, of course. 142 00:05:12,492 --> 00:05:14,687 Come on, there's got to be a catch! 143 00:05:14,761 --> 00:05:17,093 Oh, and Malcolm, you can't watch television... 144 00:05:18,398 --> 00:05:20,127 unless you turn on the satellite first. 145 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,100 Otherwise, all you'll get is pornography. 146 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:25,103 It's weird... 147 00:05:25,172 --> 00:05:26,969 I think I'm having a spasm. 148 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,907 The muscles in my face keep pulling on my mouth. 149 00:05:29,977 --> 00:05:33,003 Oh, I think I'm happy! 150 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,206 I just don't understand 151 00:05:34,281 --> 00:05:35,646 how it got so bad so fast. 152 00:05:35,716 --> 00:05:37,411 Well, it's been pretty hot this year. 153 00:05:37,484 --> 00:05:38,883 That's part of it, but, uh... 154 00:05:38,952 --> 00:05:41,216 mostly it's that giant pile of candy wrappers 155 00:05:41,288 --> 00:05:42,653 and half-eaten cereal boxes 156 00:05:42,723 --> 00:05:44,714 you have in your crawl space. 157 00:05:44,791 --> 00:05:46,554 It's like there's some kind of creepy hobo 158 00:05:46,627 --> 00:05:47,855 living down there. 159 00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:55,532 Whoa... 160 00:05:55,602 --> 00:05:57,365 there really is a lost bomb shelter. 161 00:05:57,437 --> 00:06:00,031 Wow, this is almost as exciting 162 00:06:00,107 --> 00:06:03,201 as that room full of folding chairs. 163 00:06:03,277 --> 00:06:05,211 Let's get out of here. 164 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:07,213 Aw, come on, Francis. 165 00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:08,714 Don't you want to explore? 166 00:06:08,782 --> 00:06:10,943 We might find the abandoned furnace room 167 00:06:11,018 --> 00:06:12,815 or the old Civil War amputorium. 168 00:06:12,886 --> 00:06:14,683 I didn't want to say this before 169 00:06:14,755 --> 00:06:16,222 but you've confirmed it-- 170 00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:19,157 Marlin Academy is the most boring place on earth. 171 00:06:19,226 --> 00:06:21,956 We're not going to find anything interesting. 172 00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:28,401 I take that back. 173 00:06:28,468 --> 00:06:29,696 Look, the circus! 174 00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:31,897 The circus is at our house! 175 00:06:33,674 --> 00:06:36,939 Say good-bye for a few days, boys. We're moving out. 176 00:06:37,010 --> 00:06:38,272 This is humiliating. 177 00:06:38,345 --> 00:06:40,745 Why can't we just stay at a nice hotel? 178 00:06:40,814 --> 00:06:42,247 Because we're giving all our money 179 00:06:42,316 --> 00:06:43,715 to the exterminators 180 00:06:43,784 --> 00:06:45,649 so they can stay in nice hotels. 181 00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:48,687 Craig... 182 00:06:48,755 --> 00:06:50,985 thank you so much for lending us your trailer. 183 00:06:51,058 --> 00:06:52,582 Oh, I'm just glad someone's finally 184 00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:53,853 getting some use out of it. 185 00:06:53,927 --> 00:06:56,054 I bought it 1 5 years ago to take on my honeymoon. 186 00:06:56,129 --> 00:06:56,959 You were married? 187 00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:58,497 No, I live on hope. 188 00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:00,192 Well... 189 00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:01,131 thanks again. 190 00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:03,396 You're welcome. 191 00:07:04,438 --> 00:07:06,372 Bye. 192 00:07:11,044 --> 00:07:12,978 Good-bye. 193 00:07:25,559 --> 00:07:26,548 Aw, this is cozy! 194 00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:28,651 It's 1 50 degrees in here! 195 00:07:28,729 --> 00:07:29,889 My butt is sweating. 196 00:07:29,963 --> 00:07:31,521 Ah, it just needs to air out a little. 197 00:07:31,598 --> 00:07:33,327 The trailer! 198 00:07:34,501 --> 00:07:35,991 Come on, let's make the best of this. 199 00:07:36,069 --> 00:07:37,900 I'm going to go baby-sit. 200 00:07:37,971 --> 00:07:38,995 It's still early. 201 00:07:39,072 --> 00:07:39,902 They don't mind. 202 00:07:39,973 --> 00:07:41,531 They paying you okay? 203 00:07:41,608 --> 00:07:42,575 Yeah. 204 00:07:42,642 --> 00:07:44,075 It's okay. 205 00:07:45,545 --> 00:07:48,309 I can't believe how much these people are paying me! 206 00:07:48,382 --> 00:07:49,610 I did the math... 207 00:07:49,683 --> 00:07:52,550 I'm actually making more an hour than Mom does. 208 00:07:52,619 --> 00:07:54,484 ( sighing contentedly ) 209 00:07:56,089 --> 00:07:57,454 I got to stop doing this. 210 00:07:57,524 --> 00:07:59,458 It's creepy, right? 211 00:08:00,794 --> 00:08:03,194 ''Lester.'' 212 00:08:03,263 --> 00:08:05,322 Looks like he was the janitor. 213 00:08:05,399 --> 00:08:08,425 How long you think he's been down here? 214 00:08:11,171 --> 00:08:13,264 I'd say May of'85. 215 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,331 You can tell that by tasting? 216 00:08:15,409 --> 00:08:17,434 No, the date on the newspaper. 217 00:08:17,511 --> 00:08:18,842 Then why did you lick him? 218 00:08:18,912 --> 00:08:21,574 How often do you get to taste a mummy? 219 00:08:23,016 --> 00:08:24,449 We should tell someone about him. 220 00:08:24,518 --> 00:08:25,815 Uh, no, you can't do that. 221 00:08:25,886 --> 00:08:27,751 Commandant will know you took the key 222 00:08:27,821 --> 00:08:28,810 and he'll punish you 223 00:08:28,889 --> 00:08:30,083 and then he'll punish me 224 00:08:30,157 --> 00:08:31,988 and I'm going to have to punish you. 225 00:08:32,058 --> 00:08:34,253 Yeah, but don't you think that's kind of sad? 226 00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:37,558 I mean, Lester's family will never know what happened to him. 227 00:08:37,631 --> 00:08:39,895 They probably still set a place for him on holidays. 228 00:08:39,966 --> 00:08:43,299 Yeah, well,judging by the empty scotch bottles 229 00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:46,362 and German dungeon porn, I don't think so. 230 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,307 Damn. Beta. 231 00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:57,914 And you made fun of me 232 00:08:57,984 --> 00:09:00,111 when I bought this mesh underwear. 233 00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:02,815 Who looks like an idiot now? 234 00:09:02,889 --> 00:09:05,084 I stand corrected. 235 00:09:05,158 --> 00:09:06,887 Close the door. Were you raised 236 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:07,892 in a barn? 237 00:09:07,961 --> 00:09:09,360 But it's cooler outside. 238 00:09:09,429 --> 00:09:10,361 Are you sure? 239 00:09:10,430 --> 00:09:11,556 Yeah. 240 00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:32,447 Will you please 241 00:09:32,519 --> 00:09:33,577 make up your mind? 242 00:09:33,653 --> 00:09:35,848 There's no need for that kind of tone. 243 00:09:35,922 --> 00:09:37,184 It wasn't a tone. 244 00:09:37,257 --> 00:09:38,656 There it is again. 245 00:09:38,725 --> 00:09:40,249 Look, Hal, it's hot. 246 00:09:40,327 --> 00:09:41,624 We're all cranky. 247 00:09:41,695 --> 00:09:43,993 Will you please just drop it? 248 00:09:44,064 --> 00:09:44,587 Fine. 249 00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:48,534 I think you should apologize. 250 00:09:48,602 --> 00:09:50,069 I didn't hear you apologize to me 251 00:09:50,136 --> 00:09:52,661 when you used up all the liquid in the chemical toilet. 252 00:09:52,739 --> 00:09:54,707 Well, we have your taco casserole 253 00:09:54,774 --> 00:09:56,435 to thank for that, don't we? 254 00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:59,104 Boys, will you step outside for second? 255 00:09:59,179 --> 00:10:01,909 Your father and I need a little privacy. 256 00:10:05,318 --> 00:10:08,412 Lois: Look, I didn't want to say anything in front of the boys 257 00:10:08,488 --> 00:10:10,388 but you are behaving like a giant ass! 258 00:10:10,457 --> 00:10:12,015 Hal: Oh, really? 259 00:10:12,092 --> 00:10:14,458 Well, as long as we're on the subject of giant asses... 260 00:10:15,996 --> 00:10:17,088 I'm ready to go. 261 00:10:17,163 --> 00:10:18,630 Hey, you want to see something? 262 00:10:18,698 --> 00:10:20,529 That's okay; I don't want to break it. 263 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:21,624 Ah, don't be silly. 264 00:10:21,701 --> 00:10:22,725 Come, take a look. 265 00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:27,863 Wow. 266 00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:29,306 That's a spiral galaxy. 267 00:10:29,376 --> 00:10:31,310 These people are amazing. 268 00:10:31,378 --> 00:10:33,972 They're rich, they're smart, they're polite... 269 00:10:34,047 --> 00:10:37,312 What are they going to do next, give me a million dollars? 270 00:10:37,384 --> 00:10:38,908 Malcolm, do you want a million dollars? 271 00:10:38,985 --> 00:10:40,179 What?! 272 00:10:40,253 --> 00:10:42,983 I said, do you want a sandwich to take home? 273 00:10:43,056 --> 00:10:46,082 Oh. Close enough. 274 00:10:46,159 --> 00:10:47,353 I only asked out your sister 275 00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:49,122 because you said you weren't interested! 276 00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:50,958 And I was thinking of you the whole time! 277 00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:52,362 Aw, don't give me that! 278 00:10:52,432 --> 00:10:54,559 I saw the charm bracelet! 279 00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:55,658 This isn't even mine! 280 00:10:55,735 --> 00:10:57,930 What, are you insane? 281 00:10:58,004 --> 00:11:00,029 You're throwing out stuff that's not even mine! 282 00:11:03,777 --> 00:11:05,711 What are you looking at? 283 00:11:05,779 --> 00:11:08,748 Hey, this is a private conversation, buster! 284 00:11:08,815 --> 00:11:09,645 Hal: Huh? 285 00:11:11,518 --> 00:11:13,782 Oh, yeah, like you've never seen this before! 286 00:11:13,853 --> 00:11:15,946 My mistake. 287 00:11:16,022 --> 00:11:18,422 I'm on the next street over. 288 00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:20,288 ( Lois and Hal arguing ) 289 00:11:23,196 --> 00:11:24,424 You were right about Lester. 290 00:11:24,497 --> 00:11:27,523 I checked him out-- no wife, no kids. 291 00:11:27,601 --> 00:11:30,536 Poor guy didn't have a friend in the world. 292 00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:36,435 Here you go, Lester buddy. 293 00:11:36,509 --> 00:11:38,739 Did you tell anyone about this place? 294 00:11:38,812 --> 00:11:40,109 No. 295 00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,408 Huh. 296 00:11:41,481 --> 00:11:42,743 Must've been me, then. 297 00:11:42,816 --> 00:11:45,080 All right, that's enough! 298 00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:47,210 Party's over! 299 00:11:47,287 --> 00:11:49,050 Don't you guys have any respect for the dead? 300 00:11:49,122 --> 00:11:50,282 You took his wallet. 301 00:11:50,357 --> 00:11:52,348 Lester would've wanted me to have his I.D. 302 00:11:52,425 --> 00:11:53,949 But that's not the point. 303 00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:58,396 This man was not just an alcoholic pervert janitor. 304 00:11:58,465 --> 00:12:00,228 He was one of us! 305 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:03,133 He hated the Commandant as much as we do. 306 00:12:03,203 --> 00:12:05,535 He was filled with impudent rage, like we are. 307 00:12:05,605 --> 00:12:07,300 This man 308 00:12:07,374 --> 00:12:09,035 was a hero 309 00:12:09,109 --> 00:12:11,168 and heroes do not rot alone 310 00:12:11,244 --> 00:12:13,542 in basements. 311 00:12:13,613 --> 00:12:15,945 They're immortalized in song. 312 00:12:16,016 --> 00:12:19,543 They are sent off to Valhalla in flaming ships! 313 00:12:19,619 --> 00:12:20,779 They are not put 314 00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:24,449 in beer hats or used as photo props 315 00:12:24,524 --> 00:12:25,684 or given fake moustaches. 316 00:12:25,759 --> 00:12:27,556 ( thumping ) 317 00:12:27,627 --> 00:12:29,356 Oh, man... 318 00:12:31,197 --> 00:12:32,425 Oh... 319 00:12:32,499 --> 00:12:34,228 That wasn't fake. 320 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,393 My bad. 321 00:12:36,469 --> 00:12:37,663 What do we do now? 322 00:12:37,737 --> 00:12:39,932 Go for the spare. 323 00:13:06,399 --> 00:13:08,424 ( bubbling ) 324 00:13:19,612 --> 00:13:21,876 Francis, I'm sorry I'm calling you so late. 325 00:13:21,948 --> 00:13:23,347 I had to talk to someone. 326 00:13:23,416 --> 00:13:25,350 Hey, no problem. What's going on? 327 00:13:25,418 --> 00:13:27,079 I don't know. 328 00:13:27,153 --> 00:13:28,381 Do you ever feel 329 00:13:28,455 --> 00:13:30,320 like you don't really belong in a family? 330 00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:31,880 Dude, I'm in military school. 331 00:13:31,958 --> 00:13:33,152 I think that question's 332 00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:34,193 been answered. 333 00:13:34,260 --> 00:13:35,192 Right. 334 00:13:35,261 --> 00:13:36,990 This is good. 335 00:13:37,063 --> 00:13:39,258 At least someone else in the family is normal. 336 00:13:39,332 --> 00:13:40,856 Hey, listen, while I got you... 337 00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:43,095 you're in school with all those science brains. 338 00:13:43,169 --> 00:13:44,796 How would you reattach a head 339 00:13:44,871 --> 00:13:46,133 to a dead body? 340 00:13:53,113 --> 00:13:54,273 ( paper rustling ) 341 00:13:54,347 --> 00:13:55,439 Keep it down! 342 00:13:55,515 --> 00:13:56,482 Huh? 343 00:13:56,549 --> 00:13:57,914 Don't talk to her like that. 344 00:13:57,984 --> 00:13:59,315 Would you go sit in the corner? 345 00:13:59,385 --> 00:14:01,876 There are no corners! 346 00:14:03,022 --> 00:14:04,751 You ready to make up? 347 00:14:06,126 --> 00:14:07,889 No. 348 00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:10,225 Me, neither. 349 00:14:13,533 --> 00:14:14,761 Oh, hello, son. 350 00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:16,859 I barely see you anymore. 351 00:14:16,936 --> 00:14:19,928 That baby-sitting has turned into a full-time job. 352 00:14:20,006 --> 00:14:22,440 Well, sometimes I just go over there to hang out 353 00:14:22,509 --> 00:14:24,340 and watch TV... 354 00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:26,571 live in a house... 355 00:14:28,148 --> 00:14:30,548 Dad, does this seem okay to you? 356 00:14:30,617 --> 00:14:33,017 Gosh, no. Your mother and I have never fought 357 00:14:33,086 --> 00:14:34,280 for this long before. 358 00:14:34,354 --> 00:14:36,914 It's been days, and we still haven't made up. 359 00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:38,617 I don't even know what the problem is. 360 00:14:38,691 --> 00:14:41,626 Something's missing. 361 00:14:41,694 --> 00:14:43,594 Boy... 362 00:14:43,663 --> 00:14:45,563 look at that sky, Malcolm. 363 00:14:45,632 --> 00:14:47,862 Just think 364 00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:53,497 somewhere out there in all those stars and planets 365 00:14:53,573 --> 00:14:56,804 there might be at this very moment 366 00:14:56,876 --> 00:14:59,572 a space dad who just got kicked out 367 00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:01,307 of his space trailer 368 00:15:01,381 --> 00:15:03,144 who is looking down at us. 369 00:15:03,216 --> 00:15:06,151 Or would it be up at us? 370 00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,247 Or maybe sideways? 371 00:15:09,322 --> 00:15:10,220 Trust me, Dad. 372 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:13,088 They're all looking down on us. 373 00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:15,888 The matinee gets out at 4:00 374 00:15:15,962 --> 00:15:17,452 so we should be back before dinner. 375 00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:18,554 Okay. 376 00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:19,757 What do you want me 377 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,164 to feed the kids for lunch? 378 00:15:21,234 --> 00:15:22,895 Whatever you want. We trust you. 379 00:15:22,969 --> 00:15:25,028 They trust me. 380 00:15:25,104 --> 00:15:26,833 People like this trust me. 381 00:15:26,906 --> 00:15:29,500 I obviously have to say something nice back to them. 382 00:15:29,576 --> 00:15:31,009 This is why my family sucks. 383 00:15:31,077 --> 00:15:32,442 I have no training in this. 384 00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:34,804 This job... 385 00:15:36,182 --> 00:15:38,514 me... like. 386 00:15:39,886 --> 00:15:41,615 We're thrilled to have found you, Malcolm. 387 00:15:41,688 --> 00:15:42,677 The kids love you. 388 00:15:42,755 --> 00:15:44,188 You're great to have around. 389 00:15:44,257 --> 00:15:46,282 You've really become one of the family. 390 00:15:51,531 --> 00:15:53,431 I may not have been switched at birth 391 00:15:53,499 --> 00:15:54,727 but I should have been. 392 00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:56,393 I love these people. 393 00:15:58,671 --> 00:16:00,332 ( speaking Chinese ) 394 00:16:46,853 --> 00:16:48,150 Okay, come on. 395 00:16:52,091 --> 00:16:53,353 Wait a minute. 396 00:16:57,363 --> 00:16:58,352 Sorry. 397 00:16:59,799 --> 00:17:01,289 Well... 398 00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:05,167 let's see what our little friend did today. 399 00:17:08,374 --> 00:17:10,865 ( whistling ) 400 00:17:45,345 --> 00:17:46,778 Oh, hi. 401 00:17:46,846 --> 00:17:47,972 Don't worry. 402 00:17:48,047 --> 00:17:49,309 I'd never hurt Barney. 403 00:17:49,382 --> 00:17:50,815 He's part of the family. 404 00:17:50,883 --> 00:17:52,783 Just like I'm part of the family, right? 405 00:17:52,852 --> 00:17:54,444 And since a big part of this family 406 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:55,817 is being such a huge phony 407 00:17:55,888 --> 00:17:57,446 and launching secret investigations 408 00:17:57,523 --> 00:17:58,581 against each other 409 00:17:58,658 --> 00:17:59,784 I thought I'd join in. 410 00:17:59,859 --> 00:18:02,089 Personal computers are great. 411 00:18:02,161 --> 00:18:05,289 You can file tax returns, medical records 412 00:18:05,365 --> 00:18:06,798 embarrassing private E-mail... 413 00:18:06,866 --> 00:18:08,800 A little security tip, though. 414 00:18:08,868 --> 00:18:10,460 Never use your birthdate 415 00:18:10,536 --> 00:18:12,697 as your password. 416 00:18:12,772 --> 00:18:14,603 And hiding things in a fake salt can? 417 00:18:14,674 --> 00:18:16,938 That's just silly. 418 00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:18,409 I don't know who Melissa is 419 00:18:18,478 --> 00:18:20,378 but she sure wears a lot of lipstick. 420 00:18:20,446 --> 00:18:22,812 Anyway, I think I hear you guys 421 00:18:22,882 --> 00:18:24,247 pulling up in the driveway 422 00:18:24,317 --> 00:18:25,682 so let's just leave it at this: 423 00:18:25,752 --> 00:18:26,810 I quit. 424 00:18:26,886 --> 00:18:28,547 Bye. 425 00:18:32,158 --> 00:18:33,455 Who's Melissa? 426 00:18:36,629 --> 00:18:39,154 ( arguing in trailer ) 427 00:18:39,232 --> 00:18:41,325 Hi, son. Didn't hear you drive up. 428 00:18:41,401 --> 00:18:43,130 I decided to walk. 429 00:18:43,202 --> 00:18:45,397 So, how's the job going? 430 00:18:45,471 --> 00:18:47,063 They were jerks, so I quit. 431 00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,506 Well, that's pretty much what work is. 432 00:18:49,575 --> 00:18:50,803 Welcome to the club. 433 00:18:51,811 --> 00:18:52,971 Dad? 434 00:18:53,046 --> 00:18:54,104 Hmm? 435 00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:55,340 I'm really sorry. 436 00:18:55,415 --> 00:18:57,349 What? About quitting? 437 00:18:57,417 --> 00:18:58,543 Nah... 438 00:18:58,618 --> 00:19:00,813 no big deal, especially for you. 439 00:19:00,887 --> 00:19:02,149 Malcolm, you should set your sights 440 00:19:02,221 --> 00:19:03,415 as high as you can. 441 00:19:03,489 --> 00:19:05,855 If anyone in this family has a shot at greatness 442 00:19:05,925 --> 00:19:06,983 it's you. 443 00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:09,358 Just, uh... do me a favor, huh? 444 00:19:09,429 --> 00:19:10,760 Look after your brothers? 445 00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:12,092 Okay, wait, wait. 446 00:19:12,165 --> 00:19:14,326 You mean everything you just said, right? 447 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,595 Why would I say something I didn't mean? 448 00:19:16,669 --> 00:19:18,637 See? That's what I'm talking about. 449 00:19:18,704 --> 00:19:21,195 This family may be rude, loud and gross 450 00:19:21,274 --> 00:19:23,299 and have no shame whatsoever... 451 00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:25,207 Anyway, with them 452 00:19:25,278 --> 00:19:27,838 you know where you stand 453 00:19:27,914 --> 00:19:30,041 and when I have a problem, they're always there. 454 00:19:30,116 --> 00:19:31,242 Oh, my Lord. 455 00:19:31,317 --> 00:19:33,012 - ( dish crashing ) - Sex! 456 00:19:36,589 --> 00:19:38,614 ( car pulls away quickly ) 457 00:19:38,691 --> 00:19:40,852 Things didn't work out so bad. 458 00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:44,158 I made enough money to get my robotics kit. 459 00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:46,892 Or maybe I should do something nice for my family. 460 00:19:46,966 --> 00:19:48,297 Take them to dinner... 461 00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:49,834 treat them to a movie... 462 00:19:51,637 --> 00:19:53,571 Naw, then I couldn't do this. 463 00:19:53,639 --> 00:19:55,004 Lois: If you don't change your underwear 464 00:19:55,074 --> 00:19:56,234 this is exactly what happens. 465 00:19:56,309 --> 00:19:59,073 Like the ancient civilizations before us 466 00:19:59,145 --> 00:20:01,773 we send off this noble man with the riches he had in life 467 00:20:01,848 --> 00:20:04,976 so he may enjoy them in the afterlife. 468 00:20:10,623 --> 00:20:13,353 Farewell, noble Lester. 469 00:20:17,163 --> 00:20:19,256 It's burning really fast. 470 00:20:20,366 --> 00:20:21,993 How much gas did you use? 471 00:20:22,068 --> 00:20:23,092 Half a can. 472 00:20:25,805 --> 00:20:27,534 Where'd you put the can? 473 00:20:27,607 --> 00:20:29,438 ( explosion ) 474 00:20:29,509 --> 00:20:31,534 Oh... 475 00:20:31,611 --> 00:20:32,600 Look. 476 00:20:32,678 --> 00:20:34,145 It's heading toward the boathouse. 477 00:20:34,213 --> 00:20:35,874 ( explosion ) 478 00:20:39,952 --> 00:20:41,749 What do you think? 479 00:20:41,821 --> 00:20:43,550 Run? 480 00:20:43,623 --> 00:20:44,988 Yeah. I'd run. 481 00:20:52,265 --> 00:20:54,563 ( door opening ) 482 00:20:56,102 --> 00:20:57,399 I figured it out. 483 00:20:57,470 --> 00:20:59,233 Hal, you okay? 484 00:21:00,473 --> 00:21:03,408 Whenever we'd fight, you'd yell, then I'd yell 485 00:21:03,476 --> 00:21:05,444 but then we would... you know? 486 00:21:05,511 --> 00:21:07,570 Well, you see, we haven't had a chance to... 487 00:21:07,647 --> 00:21:09,638 because we're in that trailer with kids... 488 00:21:09,715 --> 00:21:11,945 Oh, my God, Hal, you're right. 489 00:21:12,018 --> 00:21:13,076 What are we going to do? 490 00:21:13,152 --> 00:21:14,141 We've got the kids... 491 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:15,847 I've got it all figured out. 492 00:21:35,241 --> 00:21:39,268 ? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ? 493 00:21:39,345 --> 00:21:43,213 ? Means ''I love you'' ? 494 00:21:43,282 --> 00:21:46,217 ? Oh, baby, please ? 495 00:21:46,285 --> 00:21:50,187 ? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ? 496 00:21:50,256 --> 00:21:54,192 ? Means ''I love you''... ?