1 00:00:01,949 --> 00:00:03,511 Who wants some ice cream? 2 00:00:03,743 --> 00:00:07,505 Who's been a good boy all day and deserves some delicious ice cream? 3 00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:10,180 That's right, Jamie gets ice cr... 4 00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:16,261 That's it, Jamie. 5 00:00:16,296 --> 00:00:18,961 He sure loves his ice cream, doesn't he? 6 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:25,000 Malcolm in the Middle - 6.04 - Pearl Harbor Synchronisation par Dingo & Tyno, Forom.com & Malcolm-France.com 7 00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:30,000 This place holds a surprising number of living species... 8 00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:34,547 This blows. 9 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:35,699 Get up and change the channel. 10 00:00:35,791 --> 00:00:36,637 I didn't lose the remote. 11 00:00:36,684 --> 00:00:37,752 You get up and change the channel. 12 00:00:37,799 --> 00:00:38,656 I didn't lose it either! 13 00:00:41,694 --> 00:00:44,505 So the stupid cops let my dad off with another warning. 14 00:00:44,595 --> 00:00:46,315 We've lived in this neighborhood for three weeks 15 00:00:46,316 --> 00:00:47,901 and they still haven't carted him off yet. 16 00:00:47,958 --> 00:00:48,575 No! 17 00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:52,361 Jessica, you don't get to keep barging in here every day like you own the place! 18 00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:53,927 Go back outside and knock. 19 00:00:54,592 --> 00:00:55,428 And then go away! 20 00:00:56,982 --> 00:00:58,622 Seriously, what do you have to do to get 21 00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:00,340 popped for drunk and disorderly around here? 22 00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:03,697 He was out on the curb in his underpants, rolling burning trash cans into the street. 23 00:01:04,184 --> 00:01:06,546 The sad thing is, we're still the worst family on this block. 24 00:01:06,673 --> 00:01:09,694 Coming up next, The Strongest Man in the World Competition. 25 00:01:09,764 --> 00:01:10,760 Yes, finally! 26 00:01:12,253 --> 00:01:13,042 What are you doing? 27 00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:14,895 Watching House of Style. 28 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:16,706 You don't get to change our TV! 29 00:01:16,823 --> 00:01:17,805 Malcolm, back me up here! 30 00:01:17,974 --> 00:01:18,890 Reese, give her a break. 31 00:01:19,007 --> 00:01:21,884 Why? We live in just as big a stink-hole as she does. 32 00:01:22,189 --> 00:01:23,575 Where do we get to escape to? 33 00:01:23,622 --> 00:01:25,106 Reese, you're right. 34 00:01:25,876 --> 00:01:26,909 This is your house. 35 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,177 If you don't want to watch it, you can get up and change it. 36 00:01:31,602 --> 00:01:32,367 Nice try. 37 00:01:36,895 --> 00:01:39,502 Dad, I need some help with my homework. 38 00:01:39,654 --> 00:01:40,599 I don't think so, Dewey. 39 00:01:41,052 --> 00:01:43,104 I put in all this time and effort, then you just have 40 00:01:43,105 --> 00:01:45,168 Malcolm correct everything after I go to bed. 41 00:01:45,349 --> 00:01:46,688 I can't do this with Malcolm. 42 00:01:46,872 --> 00:01:49,913 I'm supposed to do a 300-word report on how you're my personal hero. 43 00:01:51,334 --> 00:01:51,792 Me? 44 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:56,301 You think I'm your... hero? 45 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,746 Dad, don't freak out. 46 00:01:58,028 --> 00:01:59,484 We had to pick one of our parents. 47 00:02:00,024 --> 00:02:00,999 Can I just watch you for a while? 48 00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:03,600 Sure. As a matter of fact, you can help me with my project. 49 00:02:03,955 --> 00:02:04,459 What are you doing? 50 00:02:04,718 --> 00:02:07,427 Well, you know that jerk across the street who's always got it in for me? 51 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,444 Parking jerk or lawn mower jerk? 52 00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:11,719 Huh? No, Christmas jerk! Bill Rendall. 53 00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:14,599 Every year that guy waits to see what decorations I put out 54 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,335 and then finds a way to top me. 55 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,715 I string lights, he strings better lights. 56 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,881 I put out Frosty, he puts out an elf village. 57 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:24,333 I put out Dracula, he does nothing and I look like a jackass! 58 00:02:24,903 --> 00:02:27,792 I mean, what kind of sick mind uses a religious holiday as a weapon? 59 00:02:28,132 --> 00:02:29,494 Wait. Which one is call-the-cops jerk? 60 00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:30,750 That's like four of them. 61 00:02:30,786 --> 00:02:33,171 Anyway, I decided to let Rendall have 62 00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:36,026 his precious little Christmas victory if it's so damned important to him. 63 00:02:36,201 --> 00:02:36,670 Okay. 64 00:02:37,046 --> 00:02:39,207 I'm doing Pearl Harbor Day instead. 65 00:02:39,524 --> 00:02:39,958 What? 66 00:02:40,357 --> 00:02:41,884 Pearl Harbor Day. 67 00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:44,709 December 7, 1941. 68 00:02:44,962 --> 00:02:47,087 The opening shot of the Second World War. 69 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:51,011 I am going to build a spectacular tribute to those courageous soldiers. 70 00:02:51,725 --> 00:02:54,819 It's going to be beautiful and dignified and uplifting... 71 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,702 and it's gonna be all mine. 72 00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,105 Want to help? 73 00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,046 Yeah. It sounds fun. 74 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,490 Are you really gonna put up a formation of flying zombies? 75 00:03:05,397 --> 00:03:07,841 Nah. I just drew them' cause it looked cool. 76 00:03:09,507 --> 00:03:11,683 Jessica, your pasta recipe is terrific. 77 00:03:11,773 --> 00:03:13,640 Look at us, eating healthy for once. 78 00:03:14,155 --> 00:03:15,082 Reese, you want some more? 79 00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:15,716 No. 80 00:03:16,069 --> 00:03:18,319 She took over the TV, now she's taking over dinner? 81 00:03:18,488 --> 00:03:19,756 This isn't even food. 82 00:03:19,826 --> 00:03:21,435 Reese, it's just low-fat. 83 00:03:21,623 --> 00:03:23,902 And if you knew anything at all about food, 84 00:03:23,979 --> 00:03:27,240 you'd know that fats and oils are the vehicles by which flavor travels. 85 00:03:27,385 --> 00:03:29,177 Fat is what makes things taste good. 86 00:03:29,463 --> 00:03:32,986 That's why a wise and loving God created fat in the first place. 87 00:03:33,937 --> 00:03:36,470 She is a guest in our home, and I think it's delicious. 88 00:03:40,108 --> 00:03:42,843 She can make me take it, but she can't make me eat it. 89 00:03:46,763 --> 00:03:48,701 Do you think we should cut up some of these guys 90 00:03:48,702 --> 00:03:50,515 so there's more body parts floating in the water? 91 00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:52,050 Nah, that's a little gruesome. 92 00:03:52,195 --> 00:03:53,440 Just melt them with a lighter. 93 00:03:53,757 --> 00:03:55,553 Okay, I have a little announcement to make. 94 00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,949 You know how last year, with the conspiracy trial 95 00:03:58,019 --> 00:04:01,320 and your father and me losing our jobs, we ended up $20, 000 in debt. 96 00:04:01,413 --> 00:04:01,694 Yeah? 97 00:04:01,753 --> 00:04:06,133 Well, after six months of scrimping and saving and going up to $28, 000 in debt, 98 00:04:06,169 --> 00:04:08,861 we are now down $26, 000 in debt! 99 00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:10,407 Look out world, we're back! 100 00:04:10,865 --> 00:04:13,515 I know how much you boys have sacrificed, kicking in your paychecks 101 00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:16,926 and working extra shifts, and, well, we thought you guys deserved a reward. 102 00:04:17,232 --> 00:04:17,678 Really? 103 00:04:18,147 --> 00:04:18,777 This is great. 104 00:04:19,016 --> 00:04:20,896 I thought she was going to start charging us for water. 105 00:04:21,214 --> 00:04:23,846 So, your dad and I are taking the whole family, 106 00:04:23,914 --> 00:04:26,389 and Jessica, to see... 107 00:04:27,202 --> 00:04:28,729 a musical! 108 00:04:30,642 --> 00:04:31,200 A what? 109 00:04:31,376 --> 00:04:32,544 A musical. 110 00:04:32,738 --> 00:04:33,760 From Broadway. 111 00:04:33,913 --> 00:04:35,322 It's called Mamma Mia. 112 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,613 They take all those old ABBA songs 113 00:04:37,614 --> 00:04:40,430 like "Dancing Queen," and "Fernando," and stick some story in between. 114 00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:42,115 Oh, my God, you're serious. 115 00:04:42,186 --> 00:04:45,156 Six partially obstructed seats. 116 00:04:45,379 --> 00:04:47,438 At first I thought of treating you boys to a rock concert 117 00:04:47,439 --> 00:04:48,899 or Motocross or something like that, 118 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,665 but then Jessica told me about this and I thought this sounded perfect. 119 00:04:52,014 --> 00:04:54,915 Wow! I mean, I just mentioned it'cause it was interesting. 120 00:04:54,938 --> 00:04:56,515 I didn't think you were gonna take me. 121 00:04:56,782 --> 00:04:58,343 What a nice surprise. 122 00:05:02,259 --> 00:05:03,511 I need your Calculus notes. 123 00:05:03,617 --> 00:05:07,538 I couldn't listen to a word Mr. Jacobson was saying in that stupid golf shirt. 124 00:05:07,726 --> 00:05:09,424 How can a man have nipples that big? 125 00:05:10,403 --> 00:05:10,756 What? 126 00:05:11,002 --> 00:05:13,148 You can hang out here if you need to get away from your dad, 127 00:05:13,206 --> 00:05:14,826 but don't act like we're friends, okay? 128 00:05:14,956 --> 00:05:15,837 Why are you mad at me? 129 00:05:15,908 --> 00:05:17,656 Because I stick up for you all the time. 130 00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:20,983 You turn around and manipulate my mom into doing something only you want to do. 131 00:05:21,184 --> 00:05:22,887 Wait. You're talking about the show? 132 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,410 Let me explain something to you, Jessica. 133 00:05:24,798 --> 00:05:26,148 My family doesn't have fun. 134 00:05:26,489 --> 00:05:27,534 We aren't nice. 135 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,763 And the one time Mom actually does do something nice, you hijack it for your own... 136 00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:33,241 I didn't do it for me, I did it for Reese. 137 00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:34,556 What does Reese have to do with it? 138 00:05:34,615 --> 00:05:35,953 You know what he has to do with it. 139 00:05:36,341 --> 00:05:36,912 No, I don't. 140 00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:39,088 Please tell me you're kidding. 141 00:05:39,394 --> 00:05:40,113 About what? 142 00:05:41,669 --> 00:05:42,315 Oh, my God. 143 00:05:43,642 --> 00:05:45,179 You honestly don't know. 144 00:05:46,577 --> 00:05:50,568 You are actually so self-involved and narcissistic that you can't even see it. 145 00:05:50,781 --> 00:05:51,319 See what? 146 00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:52,154 You know what, Malcolm? 147 00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:54,192 Why don't you try to go for maybe two seconds 148 00:05:54,193 --> 00:05:56,180 without thinking about yourself and see what you notice? 149 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:57,865 Stop insulting me. 150 00:05:58,041 --> 00:05:59,356 What the hell are you talking about? 151 00:05:59,357 --> 00:06:02,786 And it never even occurred to you to wonder why Reese is so angry all the time? 152 00:06:03,019 --> 00:06:04,684 Why he acts like such a jerk? 153 00:06:04,836 --> 00:06:05,870 Because he's a jerk. 154 00:06:06,051 --> 00:06:08,289 That's right. Just because he's your brother 155 00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,064 doesn't mean you should put any thought into it. 156 00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:13,607 He couldn't possibly be dealing with anything weird and confusing. 157 00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:16,570 He couldn't possibly be afraid to admit that he wanted 158 00:06:16,571 --> 00:06:18,808 to go see a musical because you'd make fun of him. 159 00:06:18,882 --> 00:06:20,374 Of course I'd make fun of him. 160 00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:22,331 What kind of guy wants to see a Broadway musical? 161 00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:23,643 Yes, Malcolm. 162 00:06:24,414 --> 00:06:27,325 What kind of a guy does want to go see a Broadway musical? 163 00:06:31,712 --> 00:06:32,205 Come on. 164 00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:34,035 Maybe you're not being selfish. 165 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,946 Maybe you're just too scared where it leads if you think 166 00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:41,084 about how much he fusses over his hair and his body and his gourmet cooking. 167 00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:45,193 Some people just don't want to see what's right in front of their faces. 168 00:06:49,126 --> 00:06:49,860 Nuh-uh. 169 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:54,460 Look, maybe I'm butting in where I don't belong, but you're his brother, 170 00:06:55,201 --> 00:06:57,448 and he should at least be able to count on you for support. 171 00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:05,794 Thanks a lot for sticking us with that stupid show. 172 00:07:06,229 --> 00:07:08,695 I didn't do it for me, I did it for your brother. 173 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:09,775 Malcolm's gay? 174 00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:11,032 I knew it! 175 00:07:17,013 --> 00:07:19,665 Wow! Look at it go, huh? 176 00:07:19,808 --> 00:07:22,227 They may have been responsible for one of the most devastating 177 00:07:22,332 --> 00:07:25,003 attacks in American history, but by God, they make good toy. 178 00:07:27,006 --> 00:07:28,215 Is that what I think it is? 179 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,472 Dad, it's not really... 180 00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:30,857 I'm just gonna take a little peek. 181 00:07:32,372 --> 00:07:34,187 "My Dad, My Hero." 182 00:07:40,071 --> 00:07:41,574 I might have jazzed it up a little. 183 00:07:41,715 --> 00:07:44,658 Dewey, everything in this report is just made up. 184 00:07:46,024 --> 00:07:47,154 Every word of it. 185 00:07:47,912 --> 00:07:49,157 I... I never did any of this stuff. 186 00:07:49,215 --> 00:07:51,705 Are you sure? I could've sworn Mom said something 187 00:07:51,752 --> 00:07:54,081 about you giving your parachute to an orphan in midair. 188 00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:57,475 You are not going to turn in a paper full of lies. 189 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,411 But, Dad, it's due on Tuesday! 190 00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:00,986 You're just gonna have to find another way. 191 00:08:02,077 --> 00:08:04,494 Let me explain something about heroism, son. 192 00:08:05,012 --> 00:08:07,711 There are all kinds of bravery in the world. 193 00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:09,648 All kinds. 194 00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:12,576 You don't have to be a Special Forces Ranger 195 00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:15,084 or fight crime in a cape to be a hero. 196 00:08:15,347 --> 00:08:17,800 There's the unsung bravery of the common man. 197 00:08:18,269 --> 00:08:21,044 Normal people who prove their courage every day, 198 00:08:21,045 --> 00:08:23,706 by standing up for their families or... 199 00:08:24,175 --> 00:08:25,937 being decent to other people and... 200 00:08:30,433 --> 00:08:31,126 Is it bleeding? 201 00:08:40,118 --> 00:08:40,505 Hey. 202 00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:41,304 Hey! 203 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:48,594 You want half? 204 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:49,792 I'll fix my own. 205 00:08:59,294 --> 00:09:00,186 Peanut butter's good, too. 206 00:09:00,855 --> 00:09:02,135 Nothing wrong with having peanut butter. 207 00:09:03,227 --> 00:09:03,509 What? 208 00:09:03,955 --> 00:09:06,644 Just because I'm having ham doesn't mean you have to have ham. 209 00:09:07,736 --> 00:09:09,255 Just because we're brothers doesn't mean 210 00:09:09,313 --> 00:09:11,088 we have to enjoy the same thing, right? 211 00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:14,011 Exactly. 212 00:09:14,247 --> 00:09:15,116 Everybody's different. 213 00:09:15,703 --> 00:09:18,039 It'd be stupid if I tried to force you to like something I liked. 214 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,270 Right. Plus, it wouldn't work anyway. 215 00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:21,903 People can't help what they like. 216 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,020 That's just the way they're born. 217 00:09:23,088 --> 00:09:27,609 I know. Like me, I've never liked... ham. 218 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,080 Really? 'Cause maybe if you tried it... 219 00:09:30,115 --> 00:09:32,206 No. But that's me. 220 00:09:32,734 --> 00:09:33,861 I'm not putting it down or anything. 221 00:09:34,002 --> 00:09:34,601 I hear you. 222 00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:36,026 There's no... 223 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,386 right sandwich. 224 00:09:44,609 --> 00:09:46,253 So, um... the ABBA thing... 225 00:09:46,347 --> 00:09:46,934 Should be great. 226 00:09:47,016 --> 00:09:47,991 Yeah, absolutely. 227 00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:48,625 Just great. 228 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:53,069 Hey. 229 00:09:54,842 --> 00:09:55,985 Have a good snack. 230 00:09:57,213 --> 00:09:57,707 You, too. 231 00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,329 Hal, you have to get ready. 232 00:10:02,411 --> 00:10:05,241 The show starts in an hour, and we still have to drop Jamie off on the way. 233 00:10:05,394 --> 00:10:07,679 Almost done. Hey, have you seen Dewey around? 234 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:09,731 I promised him he could fire-bomb the Utah. 235 00:10:09,828 --> 00:10:10,732 He's doing schoolwork. 236 00:10:11,084 --> 00:10:12,254 It was so sweet. 237 00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:16,223 He told me this afternoon he's writing a 300-word report about how I'm his hero. 238 00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:22,550 What a wonderful night! 239 00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:25,555 How could they say the theater is dead when a spectacle like that 240 00:10:25,556 --> 00:10:27,369 is being bused all over the country? 241 00:10:27,576 --> 00:10:30,168 Yeah, who knew you could use the same three chords 242 00:10:30,241 --> 00:10:33,095 over and over and people would sit through it for two hours? 243 00:10:33,224 --> 00:10:37,404 You can be Mr. Fancy Pants music snob if you like, but everyone else loved it. 244 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:40,948 Thank you for including me. 245 00:10:41,006 --> 00:10:42,008 I had so much fun. 246 00:10:42,157 --> 00:10:43,011 Yeah, me, too. 247 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,969 I especially liked the part where the father 248 00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:46,397 was stabbed in the back by his son. 249 00:10:46,725 --> 00:10:48,051 That wasn't in the show, Hal. 250 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,393 Well, I saw it somewhere. 251 00:10:50,752 --> 00:10:52,595 I'm glad you boys liked it so much. 252 00:10:52,654 --> 00:10:54,056 I've never seen you like this. 253 00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:56,892 You didn't stop smiling at each other all night. 254 00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:58,969 How could you not love a show like that? 255 00:10:59,217 --> 00:11:01,354 Yeah, nothing creepy about it at all. 256 00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:03,389 You guys want to listen to the CD again? 257 00:11:03,499 --> 00:11:04,063 Again? 258 00:11:04,917 --> 00:11:06,692 Oh, yeah. Love ABBA. 259 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,173 I could listen to it forever. 260 00:12:02,295 --> 00:12:05,651 ...and then I said, "You keep your sexist, adolescent humor 261 00:12:05,652 --> 00:12:07,793 to yourself, Your Honor." 262 00:12:08,021 --> 00:12:11,363 Let's just say two days of picking up trash on the freeway never felt so good. 263 00:12:11,721 --> 00:12:13,428 Wow, all these great stories: 264 00:12:13,514 --> 00:12:15,378 the judge, those bikers... 265 00:12:15,928 --> 00:12:19,444 I don't know any other way to say this, Mom, but you're kind of a... bad-ass. 266 00:12:19,497 --> 00:12:21,408 You know I don't appreciate that kind of language. 267 00:12:22,503 --> 00:12:27,123 If anyone cares, I'll be in the garage alone, commemorating our heroic 268 00:12:27,124 --> 00:12:31,143 stand against a heartless, back-stabbing, traitorous attack. 269 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:31,987 Okay, hon. 270 00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:36,114 Then there was this time at the store with this huge shoplifter and he... 271 00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:39,406 Beautiful Bianca is ready to make 272 00:12:39,407 --> 00:12:42,551 the Fashionistas swoon in her flowing crepe jumpsuit... 273 00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:43,503 This is nice. 274 00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:45,466 What'd you think of the Versace? 275 00:12:46,727 --> 00:12:50,210 Well, it has a nice drape, and it seems like a... 276 00:12:50,796 --> 00:12:52,417 kicky look for fall. 277 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,413 Yeah, I think it's... 278 00:12:55,826 --> 00:12:56,441 yummy. 279 00:13:03,221 --> 00:13:04,255 Okay, you know what? 280 00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:05,031 This is stupid. 281 00:13:05,203 --> 00:13:06,279 We have to talk about this. 282 00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:06,779 Right. 283 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,503 I mean, just because it's weird doesn't mean we can't handle it. 284 00:13:09,675 --> 00:13:10,244 We're brothers. 285 00:13:10,296 --> 00:13:12,277 Right. We've been through everything together. 286 00:13:12,365 --> 00:13:14,037 We shouldn't be pussy footing around about it. 287 00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:15,695 I got you something. 288 00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:17,243 Hey, I got you something. 289 00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:19,708 Really? See, this is what I'm talking about. 290 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,234 We're being open and supportive and honest with each other. 291 00:13:22,622 --> 00:13:23,088 Here. 292 00:13:24,588 --> 00:13:25,207 What's this? 293 00:13:25,277 --> 00:13:26,944 It's called "If You're Gay, It's Okay." 294 00:13:27,335 --> 00:13:28,580 It's full of great resources. 295 00:13:29,645 --> 00:13:30,318 What's this? 296 00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:31,548 Naughty Pool Boys III. 297 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,491 I watched ten or 12 of these, 298 00:13:33,675 --> 00:13:35,797 and this one seems to have the most stuff you guys like. 299 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:37,599 Wait. 300 00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:39,825 I'm not gay. You're gay. 301 00:13:39,971 --> 00:13:41,057 No, I'm not. You are. 302 00:13:41,557 --> 00:13:42,402 I'm not gay. 303 00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:44,491 Malcolm, check out what they're doing in that movie, 304 00:13:44,492 --> 00:13:45,552 and then tell me you're not gay. 305 00:13:45,637 --> 00:13:46,792 No, this is... 306 00:13:47,534 --> 00:13:48,168 She said... 307 00:14:01,415 --> 00:14:02,432 Oh, my God! 308 00:14:03,139 --> 00:14:07,571 You plan, you hope, but you never think it's going turn out this good! 309 00:14:09,324 --> 00:14:10,721 Stop laughing. 310 00:14:11,307 --> 00:14:12,573 I don't think I can! 311 00:14:14,807 --> 00:14:17,737 When you guys were dancing, and you did that little... 312 00:14:18,185 --> 00:14:19,926 Oh, my God, it was so sweet! 313 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,495 There's nothing more I can ask for, honestly. 314 00:14:23,616 --> 00:14:25,771 You guys make me so happy! 315 00:14:27,012 --> 00:14:28,622 Oh, God, it hurts! 316 00:14:30,605 --> 00:14:33,209 Well, I better go drag my dad off the lawn. 317 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,126 He likes to fall asleep right next to the toilet. 318 00:14:36,622 --> 00:14:38,842 See you guys at dinner. 319 00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:43,342 Vendetta. 320 00:14:43,497 --> 00:14:44,359 How could she be so...? 321 00:14:44,411 --> 00:14:45,204 Vendetta! 322 00:14:45,307 --> 00:14:46,623 Yes, vendetta. 323 00:14:47,273 --> 00:14:49,248 Reese, I promise, we'll get back at her. 324 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,640 But we have to be careful. 325 00:14:50,744 --> 00:14:52,708 She's got Mom totally on her side. 326 00:14:53,502 --> 00:14:54,210 Oh, yeah. 327 00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:55,210 It's tricky. 328 00:14:55,623 --> 00:14:57,996 Somehow, we've got to figure out a way to turn Mom against her. 329 00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,430 Okay, got it. 330 00:14:59,502 --> 00:14:59,933 What? 331 00:15:00,536 --> 00:15:02,674 It's a little risky, but I'll tell you one thing. 332 00:15:02,898 --> 00:15:04,846 No one calls me gay and gets away with it! 333 00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:06,286 Wow. 334 00:15:30,265 --> 00:15:31,439 Dad, it's beautiful. 335 00:15:33,129 --> 00:15:34,715 Well, I did what I could on my own. 336 00:15:35,861 --> 00:15:36,472 Yeah. 337 00:15:37,861 --> 00:15:38,409 Sorry. 338 00:15:43,136 --> 00:15:45,066 Then he accused me of loving Mom more than him 339 00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:47,226 just because I wouldn't slash her boyfriend's tires. 340 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,727 I'm so sorry, honey. 341 00:15:48,831 --> 00:15:50,634 Parents shouldn't put their kids in the middle. 342 00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:52,261 Or hit on their friends. 343 00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:54,210 Boys, come get the groceries. 344 00:15:54,926 --> 00:15:56,473 I hope this means we can eat soon. 345 00:15:56,805 --> 00:15:57,349 Hold it. 346 00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:58,914 What's that? 347 00:15:59,839 --> 00:16:00,253 What? 348 00:16:00,563 --> 00:16:01,070 That. 349 00:16:01,357 --> 00:16:01,789 A turtleneck. 350 00:16:01,858 --> 00:16:02,634 What do you care? 351 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,703 You don't wear turtlenecks. 352 00:16:03,772 --> 00:16:05,013 Can I just get the groceries so we can eat? 353 00:16:05,099 --> 00:16:06,323 I've got a ton of homework... 354 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,513 Aha! 355 00:16:07,582 --> 00:16:08,513 Mom, don't! 356 00:16:08,599 --> 00:16:09,738 Who gave you that? 357 00:16:09,978 --> 00:16:11,013 None of your business! 358 00:16:11,444 --> 00:16:12,496 What is your problem, anyway? 359 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,751 Can't you go five seconds without butting into my life? 360 00:16:17,605 --> 00:16:18,157 What? 361 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:19,725 It wasn't her, Mom! 362 00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:20,797 I swear! 363 00:16:21,004 --> 00:16:23,102 You always think you know everything, but you're wrong! 364 00:16:23,245 --> 00:16:24,839 You're dead wrong this time! 365 00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:28,139 I think you and I need to have a little talk. 366 00:16:28,201 --> 00:16:28,649 But I... 367 00:16:28,684 --> 00:16:29,063 Come on. 368 00:16:35,246 --> 00:16:36,399 When your mom comes out, 369 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,599 she's gonna want to know what I said to you about this. 370 00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:40,631 Make up something good. 371 00:16:59,661 --> 00:17:01,885 He did it to me again. 372 00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:08,039 I suppose you have a good explanation for this. 373 00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:09,229 Not really. 374 00:17:10,022 --> 00:17:10,970 Lois, I'm sorry. 375 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,057 I'm not going to lie to you. 376 00:17:13,798 --> 00:17:16,442 I gave him the hickey to keep him from doing something really stupid. 377 00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:17,781 Excuse me? 378 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,699 I'm not saying I was smart either, but... 379 00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,785 There's this girl that Malcolm's been chasing, and she's really bad news. 380 00:17:22,854 --> 00:17:25,257 She's sexually active and I'm pretty sure she's into drugs, 381 00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:27,748 and the only reason why he's interested in her 382 00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:29,890 is because he's so insecure about himself. 383 00:17:30,964 --> 00:17:33,926 We got into this fight and I was saying that 384 00:17:34,004 --> 00:17:37,368 he could do so much better and he said that nobody liked him anyway, 385 00:17:37,369 --> 00:17:39,360 and I was telling him that a lot of girls liked him 386 00:17:39,361 --> 00:17:41,405 because he's sweet and cute and funny, and then 387 00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,635 he kinda grabbed me and we started kissing 388 00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:46,583 and I couldn't stop because then he would think 389 00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:48,320 I was making the whole thing up and... 390 00:17:50,374 --> 00:17:51,426 I'm sorry. 391 00:17:52,391 --> 00:17:53,719 I didn't know what else to do. 392 00:17:57,903 --> 00:18:00,358 Wow, that's a pretty convincing lie for just winging it. 393 00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:04,788 I mean, you went a little overboard with the crying, but the basic story was good. 394 00:18:05,146 --> 00:18:06,439 Drug girl was a nice touch. 395 00:18:06,525 --> 00:18:07,856 Creepy, a little sad. 396 00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:09,663 But how did you...? 397 00:18:09,732 --> 00:18:11,473 Sweetie, I'm a mother. 398 00:18:11,939 --> 00:18:13,510 It's my business to know. 399 00:18:14,336 --> 00:18:17,095 You've got talent, but I turned pro 20 years ago. 400 00:18:17,991 --> 00:18:19,681 Which isn't to say you haven't been useful. 401 00:18:20,147 --> 00:18:22,247 I never would've been able to enjoy that play in peace 402 00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:23,462 if the boys weren't occupied. 403 00:18:23,546 --> 00:18:25,529 And the gay thing was very entertaining. 404 00:18:26,097 --> 00:18:28,429 But more important, those two idiots actually 405 00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:30,647 treated each other decently for a few days. 406 00:18:31,201 --> 00:18:32,064 Thank you for that. 407 00:18:33,787 --> 00:18:34,757 So, here's the deal. 408 00:18:35,028 --> 00:18:37,131 As of today, you are banned from this house. 409 00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,579 You violated my trust. 410 00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:39,891 I don't want you around my boys. 411 00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:46,981 Knowing that, they will automatically forgive you and sneak you back in. 412 00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:51,861 You will be here every day after school until 6:00, except Thursdays when I work until 9:30. 413 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,285 You will have complete run of the house, but 414 00:18:54,478 --> 00:18:56,512 I want Reese to do his half hour of assigned reading 415 00:18:56,513 --> 00:19:00,142 and Malcolm to complete all his college applications, not just the Ivy Leagues. 416 00:19:00,211 --> 00:19:01,178 And no junk food. 417 00:19:01,452 --> 00:19:02,251 Understood? 418 00:19:03,332 --> 00:19:04,090 For how long? 419 00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:04,866 We'll see. 420 00:19:05,039 --> 00:19:06,738 "Ice Capades" are coming in a few months. 421 00:19:07,010 --> 00:19:08,823 Sure would be nice to go as a family. 422 00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:14,824 Do you think we have enough? 423 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:15,686 Let's hope so. 424 00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:18,393 I cleaned out every bait shop in town. 425 00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:58,170 What the hell did you do that for? 426 00:20:58,354 --> 00:20:59,716 Your stuff was in my spot. 427 00:20:59,905 --> 00:21:00,664 I would've moved it. 428 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,345 Try asking, butt-munch. 429 00:21:02,397 --> 00:21:04,633 Right, like you hear anything but the sound of your own voice. 430 00:21:04,744 --> 00:21:05,478 Get bent. 431 00:21:05,624 --> 00:21:06,210 Bite me. 432 00:21:09,382 --> 00:21:10,770 I liked you better when we were gay. 433 00:21:11,382 --> 00:21:12,124 Me, too.